My story: I had an abortion when I was 18 

This person shares their story, having accessed a medical abortion at the age of 18 whilst in a difficult relationship and falling pregnant on contraception. They discuss their care with MSI UK and the NHS, as well as the stigma they’ve faced.

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I found out I was pregnant at 18, whilst using contraception, and in a relationship with a man who treated me horribly. 

I was so scared, there were so many possible outcomes that just made the whole situation overwhelming. I was too scared to take the medication initially and ended up being referred to the NHS, hoping for a surgical termination. Due to my situation, I was offered a medical abortion in hospital on a gynaecology ward.  

“The staff were so lovely, even when I felt like I was experiencing the end of the world.” 

I visited an MSI clinic a couple of times before being referred to the hospital. The staff at the clinics, all the ladies that I spoke to over the phone and the NHS staff were so lovely and comforting even when I felt like I was experiencing the end of the world.  

“Had I chosen to continue the pregnancy, I would not have been able to continue my education.” 

The man who had got me pregnant made me feel so guilty about choosing to do this. He said I was ending an “innocent life”. This really affected me emotionally to begin with and still does occasionally.  

However, had I chosen to continue the pregnancy, I would not have been able to continue my education, which is incredibly important for my future as someone who is estranged from their parents and family.  

“I chose the option that was best for me.” 

What has been the hardest about talking about my abortion experience is the stigma around abortions. Abortions are healthcare and should be a personal choice. However, even though I was, and am, so certain that I needed an abortion, and it was the only and best choice for me at the time, I still feel sadness, loss, guilt and sometimes regret.  

But because I made this choice, I feel like I am expected to just get over it or not share that I feel that way because people that are anti-abortion would focus on the fact that I have had moments of regret. Any choice that I made would have had major impact on my whole life, so I chose the option that was best for me. 

Everyone is different, and it is normal to feel a range of different emotions after an abortion. You might feel relieved or sad, or maybe a mixture of feelings.  At MSI Reproductive Choices, we provide free (NHS-funded), confidential counselling services as part of abortion care. Our counselling team is available any time you need to talk before, during and after your treatment, even if your abortion was some years ago. Find out more here.  

The decision to end a pregnancy lies with the person accessing care, and them alone. Many people are helped through their experience by someone close to them, to talk to and share their thoughts and feelings with. Find out how you can support someone here.  

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